Black Puddings to Bramley (Apples)
A very pleasant journey on one of the warmest days of the year was a prelude to meeting up with old friends and new at Rochdale Masonic Hall for the East Lancashire District Meeting on Saturday, 9th September 2023.
 
As an aside, being a voyeur of human behaviour, I’ve come across a new game whilst using the region’s highways and by-ways. This I’ve termed as ‘guess where I’m going,’ and I’ve concluded that cars are no longer being fitted with indicator lights. Just watch when you’re next on the road and count the number of car drivers who take left or right turnings, pull into the side of the road, overtake etc., without indicating their intentions. So, if you are driving with passengers, ask them to join in and guess the intentions of the car driver in front. Better than playing I-Spy!
 
Back to the main business, as always, you’re guaranteed a warm welcome at the East Lancashire meeting, and boy was it warm. Even so, a bacon barm and a cuppa are always welcome, and these were in plentiful supply and helped set up Brethren for the day. It was good to meet up with many Brethren and have a chat. One particular one springs to mind, a poor farmer in fact, whose claim to fame was being stopped and questioned in airport security (on the way to an Allied District meeting in Southampton). The security officers couldn’t work out what an item in his basket was, and which turned out to be an ancient mobile phone. There was much hilarity among Brethren as he was closely questioned and searched by 3 disbelieving security personnel in the process. A true story to which a number of West (and East) Lancs Brethren bore witness. Well, I’m sad to tell you that the said mobile phone has recently turned up its electrodes and now resides in that great circuit board in the sky, ahh! The poor farmer proudly revealed to me its replacement, which I couldn’t believe was virtually the same model and vintage as his last one, he said it was all he could afford, ahh. All I could say to him was not to go near airport security with the phone, or he may be down to his socks pretty quickly!
 
I always commend the Lodge Room at Rochdale, it is so well appointed and contains much masonic symbolism around the walls, and if you haven’t visited this building you should do so if possible. The austere appearance of the external of the building belies what you’ll find within.
An Alliance of Allied Masons from West Lancashire
On this occasion, West Lancashire had the best turnout of its Officers that I can remember. Upwards of 17 Brethren representing our wonderful District.
Cheers
District Grand Prefects of many other Districts throughout the country supported the DGP and Brethren of East Lancashire on this occasion.
A Discerning of DGP’s
On these occasions I always look forward to the repartee between the DGP’s of East and West Lancashire as the host DGP welcomes guests during the formal meeting. On this occasion, the host, RW Brother Mervyn Wilson, welcomed the DGP for West Lancashire and named the large number of West Lancashire guests attending with him, but then went on to point out, mischievously I thought, that around nine of these were also members of East Lancashire Councils. I think that Mervyn forgot that the DGP for West Lancashire would have the right of reply and have the final word at this point; and sure enough, in thanking Mervyn for his warm welcome, Paul pointed out that he was always happy to loan Brethren to help out East Lancashire. One up to West Lancashire at this point I think but see an attempt at an equalising goal below.
 
There were some requests from Brethren made to RW Brother Wilson for permissions to remove jackets in the Council meeting. He stood firm and Brethren were left to sweat through the proceedings, but to be fair, I didn’t see anyone nodding off in the heat. However, this may have been because I may have nodded off myself. No, I’m sure I didn’t…….?? From a hazy memory, the usual business was conducted efficiently, and very quickly the meeting was concluded. Officers of the District together with distinguished guests paraded out of the Council to great acclaim.
 
Prior to the Festive Board, Paul bought the usual executive round of drinks for the West Lancashire contingent. There were so many Brethren in the round that his allowance from Sally wouldn’t run to also buying halves for East Lancashire Brethren who had a foot in the West Lancashire camp!
 
At the Festive Board the host DGP gave permission for Brethren to remove their jackets, the majority of Brethren taking up the opportunity to cool themselves down. There were exceptions though, the DGP for West Lancashire issued a three-line whip to his Deputy and Past deputy, so these three Brethren kept their jackets on as a nod to Masonic standards. However, a certain Brother from East Lancashire, no name no pack drill, did suggest that this was less to do with Masonic standards and probably more to do with the West Lancs DGP’s shirt not being ironed. The truth is out there somewhere, but possibly half a goal to East Lancashire?
Spot the odd ones out
Food at the Festive Boards was the usual East Lancashire standard, and as Lancashire as they come. A true horseshoe black pudding starter in a mustard sauce, followed by rag pudding, chips and caviar (or mushy peas to the common people). I’ve previously described rag pudding in Coccium dialect as being akin to a babbies yed of the flat variety (or, to the uninitiated, a flat Holland’s steak pudding). I think that this calorie loaded concoction was designed specially for the warmest day of the year. However, a healthier desert completed the meal, consisting of fresh fruit salad.
 
The DGP for East Lancashire was fulsome of his praise to guests who had travelled from far and wide to attend the meeting, but not a mention of his favourite sport ‘Ferret Legging’ (you will have to read a past report if you don’t understand this underrated activity). During his speech, Mervyn had a special surprise for the DGP of West Lancashire. Bramley apples are known as the best baking apples, and Mervyn knew that these were relished by Paul. So, Mervyn arranged to obtain some of these apples from a neighbour, a bag of which were then presented to Paul at the meeting. What a nice touch which demonstrates the close association of the neighbouring Districts.
Bearing in mind the exchanges between Mervyn and Paul in the Council meeting and at the Festive Board, I think overall a fair score would be East Lancashire 1, West Lancashire 1, an honourable draw me thinks, and I’m already looking forward to the next game.
 
And so, an enjoyable District meeting over, the journey home was a pleasant one, except for me taking a wrong turning, I blame it on being preoccupied with watching the car in front not using indicators!
 
Words and Photos from the Rochdale Cowboy, with additional photos from our special correspondent for East Lancashire.